Choices

Life is a choice.. So how do you choose to live yours?

I have realized in this life that to live it, you have to recognize the different choices you have to face. Things to see.. things to hear.. things to feel.. things to get involved in.. things to avoid.. things to do.. things that comes out from you.

We can not have everything. That is the very reason we need to pick from a number of choices. But here’s the thing, everything that we need is available in that many choices. That is how God  made us live in this world: find ourselves each not lacking of anything and even having abundantly. But, we have to choose what is right. Not necessarily our best choice. Because our inkling of the best, may not necessarily be right for us. But not also just right choices – we need godly right choices. Choosing that kind of ‘right’, assures us of what God sets for us as the best. Each right choice to make us better, to make us whole, to make us complete., to make us who we ought to be.^_^

Pro 22:6 NLT

Teach your children to choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.

In You

Lord i will praise You, i will sing to You, my heart will magnify You even if sometimes even singing seems a sacrifice...

This world could be harsh, dry and empty...

but all i have to do is gaze at Your beauty Lord

and all i see is You...

there are just times when I need a hand to hold

someone who'll assure me that everything's gonna be okey

but then in Your sanctuary I find You near..

when i come to You in quiet adoration, all i hear is Your heartbeat....

nothing else matters now than You being near Lord....

nothing is hidden from You..

i could pretend to be strong.. i could wear a mask, but when im with You everything is laid in open...because i know that You will still take me Lord...

all i know is that i find rest in You..

just like the eagle who sits on a cliff and stares at the sun as it sheds its old feathers and

renews its strength,
i choose to be still and fix my eyes on You..

thank You Lord cos i know i can interrupt You anytime, and come to You with tears from my eyes, and yes You would stop to sit still with me and quietly listen to the soft sobs I make.. Abba Father...Daddy Dear Daddy God...what did i do to deserve You?
NOTHING....it was not because of who i am but because of what You've done..

not because of what i've done, but because of who You are...

Buffeting winds still come, but now i'm at peace knowing that i know the Voice that calms the raging winds...

i know You will not give up on me, so i will never give up on myself...

i dont know what the future holds, but i know who holds the future....

i could sing of Your love forever...

You are my life, and i will never tire telling people of how wonderful You've been to me...

of how faithful You were even in times when i was not...

of how i found all roads leading me back to you, no matter how much i stray..

where can i go from Your love?

nowhere.....cos Your love reaches to the deepest soul, Your love melts even the hardest hearts..

i live because of You..

this heart beats only for You my dear Lord..

If Only

My list of “if only-s” could go on forever. Given the sort of fertile imagination that I have, I could come up with an unending list of possibilities if this or that happened rather than what actually transpired. Moreover, we can always point to what is most probable, thanks to science, statistics, psychology (ahem), etc…

Still, we’ll never know and we can never tell. Only God has the final answer, and the final script. And playing victim is never the winner’s option but the whiner’s.  What has happened has happened. What has been said has been said. What has been set has been set.

In the same way, what will happen will happen. What will be said will be said. What will be set will be set. One who chose the straight path will still keep his fingers crossed similar to the one who chose the crooked.  (Most of us should know. Most of us have been through both.)

Although we are ultimately responsible for our own choices and actions, there will always be that invisible but real divine force that will exceed all other factors in the impact that it will have to the events of this world.  Perhaps it’s not entirely hopeless after all. At times we just have to be the meek one, so as not to make a mountain out of a molehill.  Once in a while I just have to be the diligent daughter, the grateful one. So much for those “if only-s”.  God has a plan I know...and I am certain God’s ways are higher and even better.

so i say, all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose. rom8.28…i may not understand everything, how things worked, is working and would work, i know i just have trust.

i know that i have fulfilled the two prerequisites for that conditional statement–> i love God and i know i have been called according to His purpose…

in Him

"the Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?" proverbs 20:24..

Since the day i learned my parents’ decision, i have found myself in countless situations where i would have to manage that decision..that everytime i woke up, i am faced with the choice between dad’s health and dad’s dream for me. here’s the catch, let me tell you what i have been through in His faithful plan..

two months ago, i made up mind to look for a job, earn for a whole year so as to have the savings that would send me back to medschool. I’d like to work in the field of academe thus i put much priority to universities..engaged myself to the usual process of exam-interview-teaching demo for  three times in diffrent universities.

Weeks after, BulSU-CSSP dean appointed me to be a full time faculty of Psych dept to handle Physiological Psych..

i’d told my dad about the opportunity, but he merely said that if i’m to earn 20k a month, he’d rather take the risk of sending me to medschool…listening to his words contends me not to settle on this.

few days after, ceu dean talked to me and engaged me to work as full time faculty of Psych dept, then rcu dean also took me as part time faculty of psych dept. I’d accepted the offer just  to make the 20k a bit higher to have dad concur with my decision to work in the field of academe..but no.. eventually I found out that I can’t work in three different universities at the same time..that it’s not the same as getting different subjects in UP diliman and settle your schedule…..hehehe..

meanwhile, I set aside the teaching field, looked for another job opportunity…this time out of the country (my last option to beat my dad)..not for so long, i found one company looking for human resource officers..

the next day I decided to visit the office with my dad..and at that first try, i was able to talked to the british employer and discussed my credentials.

.after two weeks of waiting, one Sunday after lunch, the employer made a phone call telling I am already approved to work for the company and expecting me to leave the country the next Sunday..honestly, after that phone call, I suppressed the thought that in a week time..i’ll leave..

…until Thursday that week.. I decided to claim the ticket to Australia-Papua New guinea..
however...

upon claiming the ticket, I learned that I have to get the “visa” first before anything else..hahahah..which I still don’t have

the next keyword, “REBOOK”..i never thought visa processing would take three days and more..no choice left, the company has to rebook my ticket a week after.heheheh…

..days passed by..

the next Thursday I met my med-student friends..they reminded me of things I have to settle first before I leave..

the three university college deans,

medical school LOA

and

my personal things in my dormitory

counting the days ..got only 3 days to stay and settle all these things..Friday, Saturday, and Sunday

Friday morning, visited the universities and talked to different college dean to advise withdraw the application..then went to PLM and file LOA

and gotcha!!

That same day and time.. I learned that I have to do clearance first..which is a five page clearance..im loosing my hope to accomplish it that day thus I went to PIUS ladies dorm to take my things out

 but no!!

 the manager didn’t allow to take my things just because I have to accomplish a clearance first..yeah clearance again!!

its already 3 pm..and I don’t have any options but make the company REBOOK the ticket again (yeah for the 2nd time)..

Saturday, I invited my mom to be with me to attend in a seminar…yeah!! I never thought this was God’s way to talk to my mom …

Sunday, after service,  I decided to meet my mentees…renewed my commitment with them even if..…and despite of….

After awhile, I went home to spend my lunch with family

….

I was sitting beside my mom and my dad is sitting in front of me..

My mom used to share funny stories while we were eating..but that time, atmosphere’s different..yeah..in a way..because they know and they cannot accept the fact that I’m leavin..

.. everyone’s silent..

amidst silence…my dad spoke..

..“Joy mag-enrol kna tomorrow”…

.."God’s shown His faithfulness even from the start, let’s put our trust in Him this time”..

I don't know how to respond on this..but one thing i felt that time..

i want to run from everything else and weep! heheheh

And now..im already at school..studying..and livin the dream He put in my heart..

one thing that I know now..

i am living and moving and having my being in Him